Are Dom/Sub Relationships the New Normal?

Woman in red leather corset with  whip


Sometimes society is just all too predictable. As we drift further away from the sex-negative atmosphere that we’ve held onto for many years, aspects of relationships and sex that used to be considered taboo have become more acceptable. Interracial dating and premarital sex were once sneered about in the same fashion of Bronies and tentacle erotica. While you may get a few stares going into public wearing fake hooves on your hands, most of society wouldn’t bat an eye at an interracial couple walking down the street holding hands.


The Domina Kathryn has discussed before (“Spanking Goes Mainstream”) how the act of spanking has gone from being something that was once specific to the the world sado-masocism to its current mainstream status. And now, it seems as though another practice has become popular in and out of bedrooms all over the world.


Dom/sub relationships are popping up in every form of entertainment from TV and movies, to books and music. As laughable as some of us find the Fifty Shades of Grey series, there’s no denying that the books and upcoming film have put the spotlight on similar relationships. The franchise helped pique an interest in kinky bondage in even the most vanilla of couples, but others (besides author E.L. James) have recently brought attention to the dynamic as well.


The Hannah Lux Davis-directed music video for Nicki Minaj’s “Only,” which features Drake, Lil Wayne, and Chris Brown, includes footage of Minaj and other women in the video acting as dominatrixes.  The LA Times described the video as: “Set in a sex dungeon of sorts, Minaj’s army of hot girls tie up and torture equally hot male models in one room as sweaty, hard-bodied dancers gyrate in another.”


As blunt as the summary may seem, it describes the video perfectly. Donning classic leather and latex dominatrix attire, Minaj and the other women tease their sex slaves with whips, chains, and bondage accessories in their torture chamber, much to the sex slaves’ delight.


Of course, it’s not just entertainment outlets that are responsible for dom/sub relationships infiltrating our everyday lives. Just as pole dancing became a popular way to burn calories in the last few years, the latest craze fusing exercise and bedroom play is the fetish fitness class.


According to Jezebel Mistress Anna is making her clients’ fitness regime even more painful with Australia’s only Forced Fitness Fetish Class. The article explained that during classes, “participants enjoy some of the same exercises they’d participate in at a traditional gym, but with a special twist. Lunges and squats become more intense when the clients’ genitals are weighted down and a stint on the rowing machine becomes much more intense when the mistress pulls one along on chains.”


The included video shows her interacting with a group of clients during a typical session. Some of the exercise practices include her ordering them to do sets of pushups, demanding they kiss her boot with each downward movement, performing the child’s pose (a yoga move) while she steps on their hands, and ordering them to do sit ups while requiring them to kiss her ass each time they come up.


While those involved in the community may think of the increased exposure as a positive thing, it could actually prove to be the opposite. In their bondage guide, Adam & Eve notes that those with little to no experience may want to imitate the couples they see in the media while being unaware of how dangerous attempting to do so without the proper knowledge can actually be. “The actors in adult movies are professionals and are surrounded by a lot of people who can give assistance if needed,” they explain. “Some performers have practiced a bondage lifestyle for years and have advanced knowledge.”


Hopefully those interested in experimenting will be smart enough to take it slow initially and abide by all the necessary precautions, or seek the help of a professional. Bondage, domination, and sadomasochism play are all fun and games until someone forgets to choose a safe word.

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